


You Are An Idiot, A Heroic One (In Your Words)

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Human, Author is tired, Bar fights, Bartender Sleep | Remy Sanders, Blood and Injury, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is an Idiot, Gen, Harassment, Minor Injuries, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Sleep | Remy Sanders - Freeform, Minor Violence, No Angst, No Plot/Plotless, Swearing, in his own way, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 05:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: Roman and Logan were at a pub but of course Roman had to be the hero of the day. Logan's getting too old for this.





	You Are An Idiot, A Heroic One (In Your Words)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet yote, I'm saying the warnings are tags in the author's note. :))

One day. Logan only asked for one day without Roman being extra or hurt. But _no_, the world is figuratively against him for the rest of his life. 

Is it because he was too sober for literally anything in his life? 

Logan watched as Roman dramatically relived a story, waving his arms in the air and grinning. The two of them paused, glancing over to where a woman shouted. 

"Leave me alone!" She said, trying to walk away from the man towering over her. It was a pain to be short. 

"Learn to take a compliment," the man scoffed. He watched her walk away for a moment before racing up to her and grabbing her forearm. "Hey, I was talking to you!"

Roman frowned as the woman tensed and explained that she didn't want to talk. 

The man leaned down. "Do you think anyone cares what a _girl_ wants? Men are superior and stronger, I could do anything to you _right now_!" 

Roman got up, setting his drink down and calmly went to the two. 

Logan took another sip of his drink, deciding the answer to the earlier question. The answer is yes; he is _way_ too sober for this. He brought Roman's unfinished drink closer to him when some more men came close to order again, not wanting Roman or himself to be drugged. 

A clang and the sound of broken glass caught the attention of the whole room. Everybody looked at where Roman was standing with a shattered bottle at his throat, the woman hiding behind him. To his credit, Roman didn't look panicked at all. If anything, he looked annoyed. 

"Just go away and leave people alone, dude." 

The man snarled, pressing the bottle to Roman's throat. "Shut up and leave us alone. This isn't your conversation."

"Yeah but she didn't want to have a conversation, so you're just harassing her."

The man raised the bottle and swung it down, Roman quickly stepping back with the woman. His cheek got cut but not deeply. 

Logan's glass was taken from him and he was about to scratch said hand but he saw it was Remy, the bartender for tonight. 

Remy handed the glass back after he refilled it. "On the house. You're gonna have to deal with that idiot sometime soon." 

Logan nodded, keeping an eye on Roman as he took a sip. It was something stronger than he had before but he's had it before. There were no traces of drugs in it that Logan could find so he dubbed it safe. He groaned softly when Roman got in a physical fight with the stranger. 

The woman was with another and they were leaving, quickly handing Remy some cash to pay for the drinks. Remy nodded at them as a goodbye, rolling his eyes when another customer called out for a refill. He tilted his head towards Roman before slipping away from Logan. 

Logan finished his drink and got up, thankful for his strong alcohol tolerance. His eyebrows rose when Roman's shirt collar was grabbed and said man was lifted. He rushed to them when Roman was slammed on a nearby table. He saw Remy dash out from behind the counter in the corner of his eyes.

Roman glared and grabbed a nearby drink, throwing the alcohol into the man's eyes. The man blinked, squinting at the sting and Roman kicked out. He stumbled back into Logan. 

Logan moved away from the man, letting Remy grab him and drag him towards the exit while saying that he banned from the pub for harassment and a fight. 

Roman got off the table, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling at Logan. "I was a hero today! Kinda like earlier, y'know?" 

"Sure. We're leaving now, though." Logan said, taking Roman's wrist and pulling him out the pub. He had payed for the drinks earlier. 

Roman pouted. "You're not even gonna congratulate me?"

"Congratulations on being an idiot-"

"A heroic one!"

"I'm going to go with that until you're sober." Logan glanced back at Roman and winced. "I'll have to tend to you once we get to your house." 

"Ooh, we're going to my place?" Roman gasped, jumping up and down, "Are we gonna have a sleepover?! Oh my god, Lo! We're gonna do nails and movies and- and... and something!" 

"I can ditch you on this curb right now," Logan threatened. 

Roman grinned lazily, "But ya won't." 

"Do _not_ try me."

Roman forced Logan to hold his hand and stumbled forward, clearly trying to take the lead. 

"Roman, you're too drunk to lead." 

"I am not!" 

Logan sighed, standing in place and letting go of Roman's hand. He watched Roman sway and fall on his ass. "You were saying?"

"You didn't speak science!!" Roman clapped his hands together, reminding Logan of Patton. There could've been stars in his eyes if they were in a cartoon. 

"Come on, get up." Logan helped Roman up, only for the other to put most of his weight on him. "I am not carrying you, Roman." 

Roman wrapped his arms around Logan's neck. "I thought you cared about me?"

Logan started dragging Roman to the car. "It depends on how much of an idiot you are."

There were offended Princey noises as Logan practically _shoved_ Roman into the back seat. He had to buckle Roman in like one would for a child. He got in the drivers seat and drove to Roman's place.

"Logan!" Roman whined, leaning against the mirror. He tried to push Logan away, hissing. "Stop!" 

Logan batted his hands away, still cleaning the small cuts Roman somehow got through his shirt. "You stop. You're acting like a toddler."

Roman whined again, closing his eyes this time. "But I'm tired!" 

"Then sleep on the counter for all I care." Logan didn't bother looking up. He wasn't surprised to hear gentle snores a minute later. He put some ointment on the bruises on Roman's back, letting the sleeping man rest his head on his shoulder so he could lean forward. 

Logan finished and was able to drag Roman to the couch (it was closer than the bed). He grabbed a blanket, pills, and a water bottle. He covered Roman with the blanket and set the other two objects on the coffee table. 

After a few moments of considering to stay, he decided to grab a sticky note;_Roman, I decided to stay the night but I swear to god if you try to wake me up in the ungodly hours of the morning you will not enjoy the rest of your day._

Roman always woke up early in the morning when he drank the night before somehow. It was earlier than when Logan woke up on weekends (8:00) and Logan knew it was already three in the morning. 

The pub must have closed late. 

Logan glanced at Roman again, making sure everything was there before he entered the man's room and crashed on his bed. 

Roman groaned, blinking open his eyes and sighing heavily when he noticed it was still dark. He grabbed his phone and turned it on. It's five in the morning. 

He yawned, wanting to just go back to sleep but having a sledgehammer crash against his skull was not helping. He always seemed to barely sleep when he'd have a hangover; like the world wanted him to suffer. Or maybe it was Logan making him suffer. 

Either choice was annoying. 

Roman shined his phone's light on the coffee table, thankful for the pills and water. After taking the pain killers, he picked up the yellow sticky note. He read it and snorted, deciding to get up and grab some food. 

After eating some cereal (he accidentally bit his phone but there wasn't any damage), he made a trip to the living room and then went to his room. He let some gentle light enter the room, enough that Roman could see but Logan wouldn't wake up. 

Logan was sprawled on the bed, little huffs coming from his mouth and a gentle grip on the pillows. He was close to drooling and his glasses were askew on his face. 

Roman set the water and pill bottles on the bedside drawer closest to Logan and pulled the cover to Logan's shoulders. Before leaving the room, Roman took a picture and sent it to the family group chat. 

He held in his giggles at Patton's reactions as he left the room, taking Logan's phone with him so the notifications wouldn't wake him up.


End file.
